Meticulous Providence

I hate to write about it. Almost hate to even think about it. But, nevertheless, home is where I am–not Zambia. I was supposed to be arriving in Zambia on the 31st of June and arriving back home on July 17th, but God had other plans in mind. “Never underestimate the meticulous Providence of God,” says my pastor. I’m starting to understand that in a new light. As soon as we landed in the busiest and most tumultuous airport in Africa, my ear rang louder than I thought it ever could. I’ve heard of people’s ears ringing and hurting after an airplane ride, but I’ve never suffered from it.

However, later that night in Johannesburg, I couldn’t sleep because of the pain. I later got sick (very sick) and awoke to a bloody pillow. It was at this point that I rounded the other leader up, along with the Ph.D. that accompanied us, and drew out a game plan. I explained, “If anyone of my students were sick like this, and potentially required inner ear surgery, I’d fly them home in a heart beat.” With this sickening decision, we all went back to Johannesburg International airport at 8:00am for our flight out. However, my team would be heading to Zambia as planned; I would be heading home. Or at least I thought.

Purchasing a one-way Delta ticket to the United States in an African airport is not as easy as it sounds. There was one-and only one-flight leaving South Africa towards the U.S. each day, and it was at 8:45pm. I had twelve hours–enough time, right? Well, long story short, I ended up having the wrong name on the ticket, ran out of international talk time, and was questioned up and down by a security agent as to why I had a bloody tissue hanging out of my ear–“I…uh…had an accident.” I managed to slip by the pompous security agent, only to find myself running to the other end of the airport, narrowly boarding the plane home (after I bought Stacey an African gift–promised her I would).

So, I boarded the 19-hour flight back to the States, leaving the team I poured and prayed over for months, 9,000 miles behind me.

“God’s meticulous Providence.” It’s not always a comforting phrase. In fact, when it’s used, it’s hardly ever after something satisfying happens. Meticulous Providence characterizes God as ordering and directing everything—every detail in the universe. According to this concept, every event in nature and every human action and decision is carried out according to God’s decree and purpose.

There are a number of Biblical quotations which affirm this view. For example, in Ephesians 1:11 we are told that God, “Set it all out before us in Christ, a long-range plan in which everything would be brought together and summed up in him, everything in deepest heaven, everything on planet earth” (The Message).

I’ve always said, “God is in control…God is sovereign.” But what does that mean? In my life…?

Seems like we prefer to think that when adverse things happen, when people sin or when tragic events occur, God has nothing to do with the planning part of the event. In our view He merely responds like a superhero, miraculously causing all things to work together for good. But does this understanding represent God’s providence in accordance with Scripture?

William Hasker, in his book, “Providence, evil, and the openness of God,” speaks to meticulous Providence. “…every single instance of evil that occurs is such that God’s permitting either that specific evil or other greater evil is necessary for some greater good which is better than anything God could have brought about without permitting the evil in question” (pg. 115).

That this is logically plausible cannot be denied-but does that make sense in accordance with our personal reasoning? Personal experience? Most would say that only the good elements in God’s master plan are constructed by God; the evil ones, conversely, are only permitted. But, this doesn’t really solve the problem. If the evils which occur are specifically decreed by God in order to achieve the best possible result, this comes as near to making no difference as saying that they are accepted by God as means towards his desired end. And to intend the end is to intend the means.

Is this what we mean when we say, “God brings good out of evil”? This is more…how do I say, lax? God, if He is the meticulous Orchestrator, specifically arranges things so that some good results from the evil in question, but without the claim that the resulting good is better than the result God could have obtained without permitting the evil to occur in the first place. But this doesn’t answer my question…the question of why?

Why does God chose to permit the evil in question, when He could have brought about an even better situation by preventing it altogether?

So, here’s where I’m at. I’m not an adherer to the meticulous Providence perspective. If God maintains a strong doctrine of meticulous Providence and the “non-gratuitousness” of evil, it must be accepted that God intends the evil along with the good, whereas without this strong claim I have nothing helpful to say about God’s reasons for permitting evil.

God does not orchestrate evil. It is against His very nature to work hand-in-hand with evil. Evil cannot and will never be touched by God. Evil happens. Adverse events transpire in our lives–nothing we can do about it. But, God allows it. He allows us to endure evil and tough times to be molded–to be molded into his tools for the Kingdom of God.

Evil happens, but God is victorious. Amen?

Where Do I Begin?

As my title presupposes (and I can hear Ricky Ricardo yelling, I got some ‘splainin’ to do!), I am finally beginning again to reveal the intimate and privy gossip of my life to the cyber void…ok, I’m not getting that personal, but I will enlighten you a bit to the happenings of the past several months, especially the past week.

1. I’m engaged. I realized that Stacey Lynn Powell is my lifemate several months ago (long before, mind you, that she realized this…but that’s another blog–or perhaps not). She is everything I have prayed for and hoped for…and more. She is the proverbial perfect woman-she’s honest, trustworthy, intelligent, extremely beautiful, and recognizes the extreme importance of real love. She also appreciates the things that I appreciate–such as hobbies and movies, and most importantly, a Christ-centered relationship. I hate cliches, but…she’s my everything. When I realized that she was the one that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, I wanted the rest of my life to start as soon as possible. So, I bought a ring. And not just a ring–this ring has a story and every story has a memory.

In April, Stacey and I were walking through the mall, randomly looking at rings–not in a serious, resolute way, but in a more, “So what do you like?” kind of way. We found rings of all sizes and prices, clarities and shapes. But there was one that really stood out to her–one that almost caught her offguard. It was on sale. It was 1.12 carats. And it was staring directly at Stacey through the brightly-lit fluourescent exhibits. When she put it on, she said, “It’s beautiful…but it’s way out of our price range.” However, that ring stayed on her finger for quite awhile…she was intoxicated by its appeal. It had an almost Gollum-like attraction. Anyways, we finally left the Zales associates and went home. Little did she know, I told the associate to hold the ring and I went back several days later to purchase it. Then, from April til now, I’ve had to file it away–not only in my drawers and gloveboxes, but more importanly, in my mind. Never had I kept such a profound and consuming secret in my life.

But, as you may know by now, I proposed to Stacey in Chicago on Saturday night with that very ring. And what follows is the story of that night…

The premise of this night focused on three basic instructions that I gave to her in three envelopes. The first envelope read, “Buy a Dress” and had enclosed in it $120. Now, you must understand that Stacey would not simply go out and buy a dress for the sake of it…she must be forced, which is why I gave her the condition that she had to spend ALL of the money. So, we headed straight for Michigan Avenue, towards WaterTower Place-more specifically, White House Black Market. The dress she picked out (mind you, it was a little over budget, but that’s just fine with me) looked absolutely stunning, which you can see for yourself to the left.

Then, after this, we headed outside the mall to catch a ride–a carriage ride. I had pre-booked our ride, which garnered us quick access through the others wanting rides. We took a beautiful, romantic ride around the old district of Chicago. Our great tour guide led a beautiful white steed down the streets of the Windy City, while passers-by waved at the dressed up couple riding in the exemplar carriage. This was a lot of fun for her-she loved each moment of it.

Next, she opened her next envelope, which read, Dinner with a View: Signature Room @ the 95th. We headed towards the John Hancock building, dressed to the hilt, ready for the 1500ft elevator climb. Once we reached the top, we were shocked to see the view. I’d seen it before, but it still took my breath away. I attached a picture of our view, as well. The dinner was wonderful. She ordered the gnocci and I the duck breast. Both were delicious. As we smiled and laughed together at the view and the night, I noticed that the young man next to us revealed a ring to his girlfriend, asking for her betrothment. Some foreshadowing, I think…?

After dinner, she was begging for me to allow her to open the final envelope. I simply said, “Soon.” We drove around a bit–my end goal being Grant Park’s beautiful Buckingham Fountain, which at night is simply stunning. However, thanks to the Taste of Chicago, we were not permitted anywhere near it. So, becoming a little discontented and stymied, I headed towards Chicago’s next best oasis-Millennium Park. I thought that there would be no better place to start our life together than at the Cloud Gate–the 110ft elliptical steel. It was slightly raining, so it had to be quick! Therefore, we found a seat and allowed her to open the third envelope. Enclosed, it read, Start the Journey Together… This was about the time that I revealed to the infamous 1.12 carat ring, telling her simply that I loved her very much, and that I would truly love her forever. As I knelt down on one knee, she put her hands over her mouth, tears rolling forward, and I asked, “Stacey, will you marry me?” Guess what folks. She said yes!

I put on some pictures of the ring. Hope you find it as beautiful as we do.

—
This ends part one of two. If you’re wondering why I’m able to deliver this blog from the comfort of my home and not from the African bush, I’ll fill you in. Talk to you then.

-BJY

I’m actually posting…?!?

After a soul-searching sabbatical, I’m back. You can hold the welcome-back cheers until afterwards and can begin the incessant brooding of my thoughts and anecdotal quips…ha, ok, enough Ben.

There are two ideas that have not ceased to leave my subconscious the past week. The first is the issue of dreaming…goal-making. The kind of stuff we used to do in school. I want to be an astronaut. I bet I had 15 kids in my fifth grade class say they wanted to be astronauts-I mean, they really wanted to be one…avid watchers of all the Apollo missions, Star Trek, Star Wars, and everything NASA. I don’t know one astronaut. Not one. Why is that? At what age did we come face-to-face with the “reality wall” and be forced to climb over. It’s not an easy wall to scale, but inevitable, it seems. Our inner being (and our mothers) told us to dream big! Dream with infinity in mind! But, nevertheless, we’ve all seemed to ascend that wall, and fall headlong, down into the adhesive, ultimately endless, and bitter, reality-induced everyday.

But, why?

Why can I name only a handful of people that have legitimately and thoroughly changed the world? Hmmm? I’m waiting for an answer…?

I feel that the same is true for Christians. Those who say that praying the prayer is enough. It’s not. There’s a call to arms-a command from Christ himself. Not just the Great Commission, but the entire personification of God through Christ relied on this…this craziness…this radicalness…this scandalousness. I want to know that Church. I want to know those people. There’s a pastor that said, “We need to be Unusual Soldiers for Christ.” Unusual soldiers. Soldiers. That’s not a normal person-but rather, they’re filled with crazy ways of thinking. Crazy ways of doing life.

God was the same way. “I tell you what, instead of fighting Jericho’s army, grab your trumpets and lyres and, on the seventh day of lapping the city, shout and play as loud as you can!” (my interpretation of Joshua 6). God was a radical thinker! However, it worked. And it worked perfectly.

I’m running out of time, so we’ll leave my other thought ’til later. However, I once saw a commercial that piqued my “inner astronaut spirit” awhile ago. Apple came out with their “Think Different” advertisements (some of the best ever, if I might say), in which they released one entitled, “Here’s to the Crazy Ones”. I’ve copied the dialogue below:

Here’s to the crazy ones.
The misfits.
The rebels.
The troublemakers.
The round pegs in the square holes.
The ones who see things differently.
They’re not fond of rules.
And they have no respect for the status quo.
You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them.
About the only thing you can’t do is ignore them.
Because they change things.
They push the human race forward.
And while some may see them as the crazy ones,
We see genius.
Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, Are the ones who do.

Ahh, fresh air at last. I especially love that last line…it starts with a dream, a belief, a mindset. Today, reexamine your wayward journey. If you find that there might be something missing, there is. If you ask yourself, “How did I get here?”…revert back, for a moment, to that fifth grade mentality. Even if you don’t want to be an astronaut, dream big. The world needs you…

Do you ever feel as if you’ve become the worst version of yourself? Doing the precise opposite of what you promised yourself and God you’d not do again? Reneging on commitments made? I read about this in Eugene Peterson’s Romans 7:

What I don’t understand about myself is that I decide one way, but then I act another, doing things I absolutely despise. So if I can’t be trusted to figure out what is best for myself and then do it, it becomes obvious that God’s command is necessary. But I need something more! For if I know the law but still can’t keep it, and if the power of sin within me keeps sabotaging my best intentions, I obviously need help! I realize that I don’t have what it takes. I can will it, but I can’t do it. I decide to do good, but I don’t really do it; I decide not to do bad, but then I do it anyway. My decisions, such as they are, don’t result in actions. Something has gone wrong deep within me and gets the better of me every time.

It happens so regularly that it’s predictable. The moment I decide to do good, sin is there to trip me up. I truly delight in God’s commands, but it’s pretty obvious that not all of me joins in that delight. Parts of me covertly rebel, and just when I least expect it, they take charge.

I’ve tried everything and nothing helps. I’m at the end of my rope. Is there no one who can do anything for me? Isn’t that the real question?

The answer, thank God, is that Jesus Christ can and does.

I thank God today that He didn’t just send us the Law, but instead, sent his most prized possession so that not only would we be forgiven, but so that we would truly live…a life without condemnation from sin, and a life full of amazing grace.

The Spirit of Finals Has Descended Upon Us…

“Twas the night before finals, and all through the college,
The students were praying for last minute knowledge.
Most were quite sleepy, but none touched their beds,
While visions of essays danced in their heads.

Out in the taverns, a few were still drinking,
And hoping that liquor would loosen their thinking.
In my own room I had been pacing,
And dreading exams I soon would be facing.

My roommate was speechless, his nose in his books,
And my comments to him drew unfriendly looks.
I drained all the coffee, and brewed a new pot,
No longer caring that my nerves were all shot.

I stared at the notes, but my thoughts were muddy,
My eyes went ablur, I just couldn’t study.
“Some pizza might help,” I said with a shiver,
But each place I called refused to deliver.

I’d nearly concluded that life was too cruel,
With futures depending on grades made in school.
When all of a sudden, our door opened wide,
And Patron Saint Put-It-Off ambled inside.

His spirit was careless, his manner was mellow,
All of a sudden, he started to bellow.
“On Cliff’s notes, on Crib notes, On Last Year Exams.
On Wing-It and Sling-It and Last Minute Crams.”

His message delivered, he vanished from sight,
But we heard him laughing outside in the night.
“Your teachers have pegged you, so just do your best,
Happy Finals to All, and to all a Good Test.”

**Credit to Andrew Hund, 1993

Lizzie’s Blog

Blog. Bloggty-blog blog. Blog Blog, blogging, blog, blog-blogging. blogged.

"The Varieties of Scientific Experience: A Personal View of the Search for God"

I’ve been embarking on a new journey. It’s one that, in some way or another, every person needs to go on. It’s one that searches for the origins of the very fabric of our makeup, where we come from, and where we’re going.

I’ve begun a book by the often controversial, always brilliant, late Carl Sagan. Before he died in 1996, he was professor of astronomy and space studes at the Lab for Planetary Studies at Cornell. He played a leading role in many NASA programs, including the Mariner, Viking and Voyager spacecraft expeditions. He received a Pulitzer, as well as an Emmy. He was the first to alert the public to the possibility to global warming and the potential consequences of nuclear war. Every since the age of ten, he’s been wrestling with truth, grabbing it from every direction, both from religion and science.

His book (my title) is about his detailed thoughts on the relationship between religion and science and describes his personal search for the origin of life and the sacred in the vastness of the universe. So far, it’s made me cry, humbled me, frustrated me, and helped me get an inkling of the shear size of the universe we live in. Can I let you in on what I’ve been learning? Ok, let’s go.

I believe in order to truly worship our Lord, we must first understand what kind of creator He is. First, look at the image on the right. This is an artist’s rendition of the what’s called the Oort Cloud. The dimension of this cloud of planets and stars is a hundred thousand astronomical units (AU). For hundreds of years, we have not had the necessary instruments to see this, but now we do. Let me give you a little perspective of what you’re looking at. The total number of worlds (that we know of) is somewhere in the ballpark of a trillion…that’s a one followed by twelve zeros, of which Earth represents just one, all of in the family of the Sun. And our star, of course, is one of a vast multitude. This is just a scale of one of our neighboring star collections. Wow.

The next image (right) is just here to show what a magnificant imagination and intricacy our Creator has. It’s one of the many nebulae, large clouds of interstellar gas and dust. The red color you see is actually glowing interstellar hydrogen. The black parts is so dense here that it can literally crush entire stars. This, however, is the beginnings of a totally new planetary system. Cool, huh?

The image to the left is called a supernova remnant, which is a star that has violently exploded. Anything close to this (and by close I mean a thousand million light~years away) would have surely been destroyed also. In fact, in about 5 billion years from now, our own Sun will become a red giant star like this and engulf the orbits of Mercury, Venus, and Earth and then would be inside the sun, and some of the problems that face us on this particular day will appear, by comparison, modest. It’s a long ways off, but I would say that it has some serious and quite interesting theological implications.

The image to the right is one of just a smidgeon of the total galaxies (yes, galaxies) there are in our universe. Let me paint you a picture…put this in perspective. The center of this picture is the constellation Sagittarius. In this part, the sky is rippling with suns, altogether making up a couple hundred thousand million suns, making up our milky way galaxy. As far as we can tell, our Sun is no different from another shown here. There are more galaxies in the universe than stars within the Milky Way Galaxy, that is, at least in the thousands of millions. So what’s my point? If you multiply out how many stars that means, it is some number–let’s see, ten to the…it’s something like one followed by twenty-three zeros, of which our Sun is but one. It is a useful calibration of our place in the universe.

Ok. So we’ve begun to see the scope of what we’re dealing with here. What’s my point? What am I trying to convey to you, the reader? Let me read you a quote from Carl Sagan.

If a Creator God exists, would He…prefer a kind of sodden blockhead who worships while understanding nothing? Or would he prefer His votaries to admire the real universe in all its intricacy? I would suggest that science is, at least in part, informed worship.

In my opinion, if God has given us the gifts of curiosity and intelligence to explore our universe and come closer to understanding just what kind of god we’re dealing with…I think it would be unappreciative to suppress that passion. The enterprise of knowledge is consistent surely with science (my limited knowledge of it); it should be with religion, and it is essential for the welfare of the human species. Hope this has challenged your thinking a bit…

Pandemic

The Truth:

• Over 22 million people have died from AIDS.
• Over 42 million people are living with HIV/AIDS, and 74 percent of these infected people live in sub-Saharan Africa.
• Over 19 million women are living with HIV/AIDS.
• By the year 2010, five countries (Ethiopia, Nigeria, China, India, and Russia) with 40 percent of the world’s population will add 50 to 75 million infected people to the worldwide pool of HIV disease.
• There are 14,000 new infections every day (95 percent in developing countries). HIV/AIDS is a “disease of young people” with half of the 5 million new infections each year occurring among people ages 15 to 24.
• The UN estimates that, currently, there are 14 million AIDS orphans and that by 2010 there will be 25 million.
• The disease has only existed for 24 years.

Thanks to: **http://www.until.org/statistics.shtml**

Bertrand Russell

I have been reading some Bertrand Russell, and I came upon this poem that summarizes my “panoramic perspective” of life right now. It delves deeply into three distinctive, yet very crucial understandings of life. See what you think…

Three passions have governed my life: The longings for love, the search for knowledge, And unbearable pity for the suffering of [humankind].

Love brings ecstasy and relieves loneliness. In the union of love I have seen
In a mystic miniature the prefiguring vision
Of the heavens that saints and poets have imagined.
With equal passion I have sought knowledge. I have wished to understand the hearts of [people]. I have wished to know why the stars shine.
Love and knowledge led upwards to the heavens,

But always pity brought me back to earth;
Cries of pain reverberated in my heart
Of children in famine, of victims tortured
And of old people left helpless.
I long to alleviate the evil, but I cannot, And I too suffer.

This has been my life; and I found it worth living.

~Bertrand Russell

The Transfigured Life

“If any man be in Christ, he is a new creature; old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.” 2 Corinthians 5:17

“What idea have you of the salvation of your soul? The experience of salvation means that in your actual life things are really altered, you no longer look at things as you used to; your desires are new, old things have lost their power. One of the touchstones of experience is – Has God altered the thing that matters? If you still hanker after the old things, it is absurd to talk about being born from above, you are juggling with yourself. If you are born again, the Spirit of God makes the alteration manifest in your actual life and reasoning, and when the crisis comes you are the most amazed person on earth at the wonderful difference there is in you. There is no possibility of imagining that you did it. It is this complete and amazing alteration that is the evidence that you are a saved soul.

What difference has my salvation and sanctification made? For instance, can I stand in the light of 1 Corinthians 13, or do I have to shuffle? The salvation that is worked out in me by the Holy Ghost emancipates me entirely, and as long as I walk in the light as God is in the light, He sees nothing to censure because His life is working out in every particular, not to my consciousness, but deeper than my consciousness.”

~Oswald Chambers, Devotion for November 12